Warning

“Alice... Things are bad again...”

I wonder how many blogs I am going to start with those words.

Let me start over.

“Don’t tell me it’s not worth trying for. You can’t tell me it’s not worth dying for... There’s nowhere unless you’re there.” – Bryan Adams, Everything I do, I do for you.

I am alone. I feel unloved and unwanted. I understand why he won’t come get me. But I think it’s unreasonable. I think it’s unfair that he won’t drive through. But there’s nothing I can do to change things. Four days until Tuesday seems like just four short little days to everyone else. To me it’s a lifetime. I want to say that I can’t wait that long, because it truly feels like I can NOT. But what else can I do, but wait?

Over the past few days I have thought a lot about leaving him. I do NOT want to. It’s the last thing I want. But is it working? Are things okay between us? My honest feelings are that he’s become lazy and selfish since he moved to Brits. And I don’t feel his love anymore.

And another thing... He doesn’t listen anymore.

Kia is dead because someone refused to listen to me when I told them to get medical help. I almost died on Tuesday night because my father refused to listen to me when I told him I needed to get to an ER. Sorry if this is private, Trixy, but I warned her, too, about many guys that were going to hurt her and she refused to listen to me. In the end she got hurt.

And now, Hannah also refuses to listen to me. I keep telling him he NEEDS to relax, he NEEDS to see me and we NEED to be together AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. But he’s not listening. Things build up inside both of our hearts and those things need to be let out. The only way to let those things out is to be together. Is to release and relieve each other’s stresses and worries. We both NEED each other’s company but he’s not listening. When the shit hits the fan, it won’t be my fault.

I think I’m done. I’ve said what I wanted to say and that’s that. There is nothing I can do. The warnings have been issued. Whether they’ll be listened to, is not up to me.