Cat...
Do you have the faintest idea how much I miss you, and how much I'm hoping you still miss me too?? Why did we ever say goodbye? Why did we let the world win? Why did we let something as stupid as a stolen, vandalized diary get between us? Was it all my fault? Do you have your regrets too?
I wish I could turn back the hands of time. Just to see you again. But you said you don't want to see me because when I COULD see you, I didn't say anything.
UHG!
This whole thing is so confusing and so frustrating. Now more than ever I'm considering some hazardous method of forgetting you. You keep me up EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.
I'm turning eighteen on Tuesday but I'm not even Going to bother trying to celebrate my birthday. And I'm going to forget about Christmas as well. None of it is worth it without you...
Oh, have I mentioned C.S. and I are talking again. But his boyfriend doesn't want him to spend time with me so we party in secret. I've missed him. I've forgotten what good friends we were back in January. We talked like we've never parted. But it's over and he's just a friend. I'm just saying. Hopefully I can get drunk somewhere with him Tuesday night, or OD on something so I can sleep away the pain of you not being there. I don't want to grow old alone. And there's no one else for me. No one like you. No one that can love like you. No one that can touch and care like you. I DON'T WANT ANYONE ELSE!
Katjie, ek weet dit is laat, en jou male slaap, maar ek moes net vir jou se, ek het jou lief... ek jou lief soos die Kaap.
You probably won't ever read this.
You think I've moved on.
But you taught me that it helps to get all the STUFF out of your system...
So I'm writing it all here for you.
Maybe one day...
You'll be bored...
And google my name...
And come across this...
Maybe...
Till next time.
Jaydy
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